Losing perspective

Back to Pune, and back to crowded thoughts focusing on everyday concerns. They sometimes help in character building, but I feel like I’m losing myself on matters that should be more easily managed and that should be secondary. I’m losing sight of my existential intention, finding it more difficult to enjoy moments during the day. My thoughts keep following me, even during my walks. Sometimes, I wish I could leave selected thoughts in a box and close it until I needed a specific one. I feel like I’m losing sight of the broader perspective, whether one does exist, or whether it’s the illusion of perspective that keeps me going.

And then, there’s Capoeira and the kids.

Since I’ve been back, I’ve been in 2 games where everything around me was fuzzy, where I felt myself being pulled into the game, into the flow, into the movements. I’ve been longing for this feeling ever since I started, and it's the first time I experienced it. It was surreal. There was no thought, just movements. I now need to improve my game.

And the kids. Well, let’s just say that you can roll with them lying down on the grass and they won’t call you weird or smirk at you. On the contrary, they’ll jump on you, laugh and passing judgment feels like the furthest thing in their mind. We can be we, at least momentarily.