gratitudes at midnight

too beautiful to put it down to simple words. this joyous moment is a joke. every moment can be laughed at. cos in the end it's just a small single passing moment. some, we feel more significant than others, because of our actions, our thoughts or the way we feel. but if we compare one moment to the other, they are not much different. and one moment, plus the other and another equals our life. we evaluate our life based on what we do, who we spend time with, what we know and how we feel; that is all. it's as simple as that. some of us, believe in god, in a guru, think what they say is absolute, cos they know and we don't. very few of us implement their teachings, actions and their way of life. many of us believe that they have realized something we haven't and like to hear their teachings, recite their prayers, sing their kirtans and even try to meditate... all this so that later, we wonder if i'll be on time for a meeting, whether i'll ever meet my partner, what clothes will i wear the next day, how do i ask the person who owes something to give it back to me, how can i tell someone i don't feel like doing what he or she wants me to do without hurting that someone, what will i cook the next day or worse tell someone that i depend on him or her.... all this when looked at, from a point of view of single moments filling our space of time seems pointless...

how do we evaluate? do we need to evaluate? how come when i do something right, i feel joy on the inside. how come love feels right, truth feels right, work feels right and silence feels like perfection? have these seeds been inserted into us, or is the universe filled with these particles and these are universal truths?

how come when i think of all this, i feel like laughing my head off? how come every single moment feels so funny? how come it seems so pointless to think/wonder/worry about what tomorrow will bring me? tomorrow will bring me what tomorrow will bring me like today brought me whatever today brought me... i can stay put and decide not to move, but will i win the battle if tomorrow's schedule for me is not right here in my bed, or will tomorrow win the battle? does that depend on me or the universe?