Losing perspective

Back to Pune, and back to crowded thoughts focusing on everyday concerns. They sometimes help in character building, but I feel like I’m losing myself on matters that should be more easily managed and that should be secondary. I’m losing sight of my existential intention, finding it more difficult to enjoy moments during the day. My thoughts keep following me, even during my walks. Sometimes, I wish I could leave selected thoughts in a box and close it until I needed a specific one. I feel like I’m losing sight of the broader perspective, whether one does exist, or whether it’s the illusion of perspective that keeps me going.

And then, there’s Capoeira and the kids.

Since I’ve been back, I’ve been in 2 games where everything around me was fuzzy, where I felt myself being pulled into the game, into the flow, into the movements. I’ve been longing for this feeling ever since I started, and it's the first time I experienced it. It was surreal. There was no thought, just movements. I now need to improve my game.

And the kids. Well, let’s just say that you can roll with them lying down on the grass and they won’t call you weird or smirk at you. On the contrary, they’ll jump on you, laugh and passing judgment feels like the furthest thing in their mind. We can be we, at least momentarily.    

Being born on the 16th

The stone rolled down a camel’s hump
How rude, the sand whispered
I am abated by a frenzy of gentle connotations to a mere spec
Why did the sun rise this morning?
You are soft and blanket me, Mr. Sand and Mr. Sand, and Mr. Sand
You are so many!
And yet, I know not what a flower would feel in my grasp
But can you rise up to the sky when the wind transports you?
Ah, touch the sky, you say,
I say stay grounded, the earth has mysterious bounties
Isn’t mystery an unfamiliar reality?
Dwell in the essentials, while I dance around you
I can dig myself beneath you
Are you smiling?
The Gods never cry, but do they forever smile?
Break up earth, but don’t forget where you’ve come from
Lest you stay in
All is in passing
Although, the sun forever shines
Never ever, by no means, on no account, no ways
Mr. Stoned rolls around
On account of your emergence,
Which is temporary,
I offer you today,
Sand of stone or stone of sand,
To celebrate your fleeting existence,
My insignificance unto your insignificance
And we’ll create a unique purposeful moment 

The prettiest of ‘walks’

When I use the term ‘walk’, I mean trekking uphill for 6 days through dirt roads, lush green forests, sun, rain, snow, remains of avalanches,… until we reached the sanctuary of Annapurna and then downhill for 3 days .
In the heart of Annapurna.
We were surrounded by some of the highest mountains in the world and had a 360 degree view of rock and whiteness. At night, the sky filled up with stars; one could see the contours of the mountains, and at dawn, the rays of the sun hit the summit of each mountain and basked them with sunlight.
No words, simply no words.
Sitting by the Stupa at base camp, under falling snow, I found myself tearing up and once again, wondering what I may have done to be so lucky.
‘Muchness’, ‘powerful’, ‘magnifique’, ‘incroyable’ were some of the words used.
I have no words.

Some of my favorite moments during the trek:

- Manoj (how about 2 Manojs in a group of 4), our guide, while talking to us about Everest Base Camp, compared Mount Everest to a fat guy with a pretty girlfriend.

- Playing a made up game with Asia on a piece of paper.

- A small boy, not more than 4-5 years old, waiting at a village with a basket of flowers, putting a flower on each of our bags.

- The morning at Poon Hill, watching the first rays of the sun on both the Annapurna and Daulagiri ranges.

- Walking from Deorali to Annapurna Base Camp and back. Truly the prettiest walk I’ve probably had.

- Walking on the remains of an avalanche. Exhilarating and scary!

- Waking up to pee in the middle of the night at Annapurna Base Camp and watching the stars in the sky and the mountains.

- The morning at Annapurna Base Camp watching the rays of the sun falling on the mountains.

- Meeting Audrey and Sam, and listening to a Nepali man telling us a story about Shiva and telling us that if we ever want our unborn child to be a climber, we should make a baby in the mountains.

- The last night with Manoj, Khansa, Bhimal, Asia and Hanna, drinking and laughing.