An ode to Paris...

Aspiring to understand why he felt so lost when he had everything he could possibly need, he set out for a walk. He came down his apartment located in the 14ème arrondissement, and started walking in the direction of l'île de la cité, the island connecting la rive gauche and la rive droite of Paris.

He was determined to put in an effort of being completely aware of his self, his surroundings and in general, everything around him. Taking a deep breath, he smiled contently, feeling grateful to be where he was at the time he was in. He suddenly had to scratch the back of his neck to gratify an itch.

What a strange journey, he thought to himself. He was brought in to this city, like he had been to many other places, by some strange invisible force that seemed to decide the course of his life, he thought. Am I this invisible force? He questioned himself.

He stopped into a bakery; they thronged every corner of the city. He bought himself half a baguette and set out about the road again, while munching on it. He liked the smell and taste of hot bread just out of the oven. At that moment, he needed nothing else.

He wondered why it was that when he found himself alone, he always felt most alive. He thought that when he was in the midst of other people, he took in part of their lives, compared them to his in some way, and generally lost himself in things, which he thought ultimately, barely mattered in the big picture. It was when he was alone, that he could wholly experience his feelings, the things he had seen, experienced and put them into perspective. Plus, he did not have to indulge into spoken words, or feel the need to strike a conversation, for, on one's own, silence is enough to communicate between various thoughts.

As he reached Port-Royal, he turned right and decided to go through the park "Jardin du Luxembourg" instead of the Boulevard St. Michel, since it was a nice spring day of May. At the park, he studied a photography exhibition: "the French love their art", he muttered. A wall-sized picture was cut into several smaller squares and hung from the ceiling with transparent threads distanced from each other in such a way, that the full picture could be seen only at a certain angle. At that angle, the spaces in between the smaller pictures would magically disappear to show us the whole picture. Is this what happens to us as well? We tend to focus on the smaller pictures, whereas we should maybe find the perfect angle to see the complete picture of our life?

He took more pleasure looking at the reaction of the people, than the art itself. This piece of art seemed to bring a momentarily spark to their beings. He particularly enjoyed their "Oh! C'est vraiment impressionant!"

He liked it when people around him smiled.

Out of the gates of the park, he came upon the busy Boulevard of Paris. It was usually easy to differentiate the tourists from the locals by studying the briskness in their pace. As he reached the fountain St. Michel, he stopped for a while as a band of musicians were playing some old jazz and blues tunes. He caught the glare of a girl moving to the tune of the band, he smiled at her, she smiled back.

As he walked on, the grand cathedral of Notredame de Paris dawned on him. He knew where he was going. He passed through the small gate of the park adjoining the cathedral, took in the splendor of the cathedral, crossed the small wooden bridge that would give way to one of the best ice-cream vendors of Paris, descended the slope and sat by the river Seine. Amidst, the lovers, loners and gathering of friends that were sitting by the banks of the river Seine, he found a place for himself and sat down.

He had reached on time to watch the sun set right between the two towers of Notredame, giving the skies of Paris the color of fire...

Jeudi, 24 mai 2007

yesterday, i was awakened by the most amazing sunrise. my first thought, unfortunately, was that i need a camera. my second thought - fuck, the camera is with Chand. my third one involved Dominik banging on my door to wake me up one morning, in Paris, to show me the beautiful sunrise on that day. finally, after that thought, i stood up, looked at the sunrise and got submerged in its beauty. thirty to forty seconds of thoughtlessness. then, well, i had to go and shit out the previous night’s dinner.

I was dealt a disappointment last week. but at the same time, although my life has been unwavering - i still work in the same place, live in the same city, in the same house, and do the same things - my perspective seems to have changed. I’ve been hit with a huge feeling of freedom, believing that the next moment I could find myself anywhere in the world and doing something completely different. Even the city offered a different glow yesterday. It was wearing the color of red and fire – a combination of the sky, the flowers and the dust. Everything seemed very out of the ordinary. Perhaps, the monsoon is announcing its arrival.

Truly, I can’t stop being overwhelmed at the choices made available to me, and the power I have in conceptualizing my life…

Lundi, 14 mai 2007

A l'amblée de mon âme, je prend conscience de l'énergie puissante qui nous entoure... tout drôle, je respire soudainement la plénitude du calme au beau milieu du désordre routinier de la ville. les effets, les sons, la pollution, les véhicules, les vas et viens, la colère, la joie et la tension des personnes prennent tous un sens, rendant l'ensemble cohérent - un bloc de lego parfaitement assemblé pour le moment donné, qui est parfait. Le soleil couchant garnit la rue d’or, et les arbres qui ont leurs racines pénétrantes fermement dans la terre, essayent de parvenir jusqu’au ciel, en dansant avec le vent, réjouissant dans leur existence. La signifiance de vie que je recherche se réalise devant mes yeux sans mots, me laissant ému, perdu dans le moment… j’atteins ma vérité, si seul pour une brève seconde.

Baga, Calangute, Candolim, Assagao, Anjuna, Vagator, Palolem, Dabolim,.....

qu'est ce le moment parfait?

vitesse virage après virage, petites rues transcendantes auprès des collines et la mer brillante avec le soleil couchant entre les palmiers et le vert qui nous entoure...la musique à fond... c'était un autre univers... moment où l'âme se perd, je m'unifie avec la rue, l'environnement, la musique, le soleil, les arbres autour de moi. on est même...on est tous même.. pas de différence... je suis lui, je suis elle, je suis l'objet, je suis l'univers entier... c'est moi...tout est en moi et je suis dans tout... l'amour déborde en moi, m'encercle, rentre dans moi et se répartie partout....